AKA Am I really an artist or is impostor syndrome lurking behind the curtains again

I’m trying to organize my home studio space. It’s not working, I have been doing this for months. I actually need two studio space. One for storage and one for working. Also working against me is the need for a writing space, a printmaking space, a painting space, and a textile and mixed media space. On top of this I am grappling with the collapse of my social world. Last year I called my mother every night, went on Zoom meetings, wrote long texts to my family and friends, tiled a kitchen backsplash, painted a bunch of rooms, knitted, sewed, filled my house and yard with plants. What I didn’t finish was my novel. The story still percolates in my mind. I have even dreamed about my characters and storyline, even came up with better scenes but the idea of spending hours in front of the computer filled me with dread. Zoom meetings began to stress me. I couldn’t get through emails. I began to do everything I could think of to avoid sitting at the computer. I read on my phone, scrolled through some of my emails, checked in Instagram and Twitter, then did everything I could to be offline. Gardened. Cooked. Sorted beads and yarn. Embroidered sugar skulls. Knitted a small coral reef. Built furniture. Sometimes it feels like procrastination, sometimes like preserving my sanity.

It’s funny how all those activities kept me going when it became clear our world has changed since my last post in February 2020.

portrait 38

portrait 39

portrait 40

portrait 41

I have been painting and realized August is fast approaching. These are the four portraits that I will be finishing up The next five have been selected and will be on the easel to work on this week. Of the thirty-seven I have done, five are in their new homes and thirty-six are still at my studio. The art show opens on August 11th for Petersburg’s Friday for the Arts and I still haven’t worked out food and music for the evening. There are mailings to be done. Commissions to be completed. Bird painting displays to finish. Did I mention I am also writing a novel? Work, work, work.

gluing down the bird houses on to the table top

my cat thinking this is her new cat bed (it’s not)

display table with cage

some of the little bird paintings

Where would I be without commissions? They make all this possible, and I am thankful for every one of them.

Today I ordered rack cards, post cards, and a rack card holder I want to make a cool stand for. I have already received my  save-the-date postcards which I will be mailing out soon. I need to hang up posters and my signs soon. My husband and I eloped so we were spared all the wedding preparations madness people talk about. No one to hang over my shoulder and ask me why I picked that font for the poster.

Now I need to work every hour of the day…

First portrait of 2017 to add to the others for my August show.

 

I need to start thinking about how these will all be displayed.

 

There are already 34 at my studio and another 35 need to be completed by August. Would be cool to have a hundred finished. The show is less than six months away.

 

Well, I have been working on the Portraits of Petersburg exhibit but missed a week because of illness. I have to prep for my art show at the Petersburg Public Library and will be taking a selection of my portraits plus a few other paintings to hang. Library already has made a flyer and written a press release. Since it is May the art theme will be “mothers” and I want to post quotes from the participants next to the work. Another possibility is famous quotes painted on canvas. We will see.

The flyer looks great.

I still have a few more days to paint some more portraits. Already I started two today;

I am on portrait number 25, but I want to still do more. The impact will be greater with a large group. 2016 will have to be my ‘Year of Portraits”.